After leaving my life as a rich merchant, I just wandered around feeling miserable. I was just thinking of the path I've taken in search of enlightment. When I was with the Samanas, I couldn't do anything, I had to ignore all of my desires, pain, hunger, everything. Now, I lost myself in Sansara, and diverted from the path. I aimlessly came back to the river where I once passed by with the ferryman. I wanted to die in that river, I did not want to deal with anything. This disapointment of wasting my precious time where I could've done something great just made me angy. But all of the sudden when I was getting ready for suicide, I remmembered of the sacred word Om, and in that moment my spirit awakened. I then realized how crazy I was, thinking of suicide. Then I just sat on the grass and fell asleep. The first thing I saw when I woke up was a Buddhist monk, it didn't took me long to recognize that person. It was Govinda. Though Govinda didn't recognize me, I went up to him and introduced my self. He told me his life and that he is still a follower of Gotama and I told him about my life, where the wind had taken me and that I too was a spiritual pilgrim. Looking at my expensive clothes he didn't really believed me. After, he bowed respectfully and was gone.
I was thinking of going back to Gotama and joining samanas again but I felt like if I did I would learn nothing. I have been trying too hard to find what I seek. I was confused and had no idea what would be next or what I would do. So I just stared at the river and felt so attached to it. I decided to stay here longer.
In the second sentence, the word "enlightment" should be changed to "enlightenment". There might be two spellings for the word "Sansara", but in my book it is spelled "Samsara". In the sixth sentence, disappointment is misspelled. Also, "angy" should be "angry. The use of the word "where" in this sentence is incorrect, it should be replaced with "when". Additionally, the use of the word "disappointment" does not make sense. If I were to rewrite, I would say something like: "I was overcome with anger that I wasted my precious time when I could have been doing something worthy." The part of the next sentence, "...I was getting ready for suicide," is very blunt, it might have been better to say it more gently. Also, the word "remmembered" should be "remembered". In the next sentence, "took" should be "take". When Siddhartha noticed Govinda was sitting next to him, he did not go up and introduce himself, it was when Govinda was leaving that Siddhartha finally let him know who he was. You used excellent imagery, I could really see what was happening.
ReplyDelete-Jenna Grossinger
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ReplyDeleteThe river is a very important aspect in Siddhartha's life. But what was it that drove siddhartha to the river at 1st? Was it his connection with the universe?
ReplyDelete-Ryan Shaktah
Does Siddharhta actually try to kill himself, or does he only think of it?
ReplyDeleteDoes the diary mention anyone interfering with his attempted suicide?
-Judith Garcia